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Jan. 17th, 2014

eye, bladerunner

I hereby swear I will write a program called itjustfuckingcopies(cd)
This will have the masterful interface equivalent of a single red button that pops up labelled "fuckingcopythis". If you are of a delicate nature you can change the name of it to just copies or anything else and it will say "copy" or somesuch cunning way of determining if naughty words make your <insert lifeform here> cry.

Nothing else.

No. Actually it will also have a very mashable side button next to it that says "Close". Nothing witty, nothing punnish. Just close that shit down right there.

Then when you press that red button it will fucking copy what is in the cd drive.
When it has finished reading that stuff it will say "Put in blank CD"
When you do that, it fucking copies it onto that CD.
When it's done, it will say "Another?" and yes and no.

And it will be mighty and have a CLI and I shall spam it out in concept in linux if I have to.

TLDR: Took too long to copy some CDs.
But damn what happened to easy copy of a cd?

Merry Christmas! :)

Christmas hat
Oh the clouds outside are frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
We're living in Yorkshire it's plain,
Let It Rain! Let It Rain! Let It Rain!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
Into the toaster the hovis we're popping,
We've all got frightful chilblains,
Let It Rain! Let It Rain! Let It Rain!

When we finally kissed goodnight,
The cold stuck our lips together tight!
As I head out to the gathering storm,
I'm wishing that I was so warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And to the heat we're all good-bying,
To live here we must be insane,
Let It Rain! Let It Rain! Let It Rain!

Merry Christmas!

Epic level engineering

eye, bladerunner
These days in any large corporation, certainly in every software company I've worked for morale, position, wages, job title and advancement are crucial factors to any employee that the HR department invariably gets wrong.

One of the problems is that for most companies advancement "up the chain" is usually only via becoming a manager, it goes something like this.

Bob is an excellent engineer, Bob is promoted to senior Engineer.
Bob is an excellent senior Engineer, Bob is promoted to Management.
Bob has a rotten time and hates his job and quits.

Very rarely there is any kind of concept of advancement for engineers beyond graduate, engineer, senior engineer, architect. Once you hit senior engineer there's only architect to go to, and once you hit architect you're probably doing management.

These roles are also hideously ill-defined; often senior engineers are expected to project/product manage and this is hardly reflected in their job specification.
It's all very confusing, annoying and - frankly - archaic.
So what is there to do? What can we replace it with? What can we possibly use to model our job titles, rewards and goals on that todays engineer can understand.

Easy. MMORPGs.

Hear me out here; it all makes sense, and is pretty damn easy.
Instead of jumping to senior engineer from engineer you are an engineer with a LEVEL, at different levels you are expected to do certain things, you are awarded JXP (Job XP) as you do well which will advance you towards your next LEVEL, (and therefore pay grade) as well as Extra responsibilities.
For example;
A level 1 engineer is allowed to modify existing code, make check-ins only after peer review and authorisation from a level 10 engineer or higher. They can raise bugs but not close them. ETC.
A level 10 engineer can modify existing code, create their own modules, check-in after peer review and can close bugs.
Higher level grants you more responsibilities, more abilities, indeed these could also be granted in skill trees (coding, check ins, design, etc) that are granted as you level.

So a level 1 engineer must have skills of at least coding 1, check-ins 1, design 1
A level 10 engineer must have to have coding 10, checkin 10, design 10 (or whatever)

So rather than XP you could even have it as a skill based advancement system!

But what about titles? Easy. At certain levels you get a new title. A level 1-5 engineer could be a graduate, levels 6-10 is an engineer, 11-15 senior, 16-20 principal, 21-25 elite, 26-30 epic and so on...

Wouldn't you want your official company title to be "Epic Engineer" ?

But what about bonuses, I hear you cry (down voices, DOWN!)
Easy - quests!

Complete a quest in order to get a bonus; or a set amount of XP towards your bonus (BXP)
So for a full bonus every half year you would need, say, 2000 BXP; your manager sets you the following goals
1000 BXP - Complete project A
500 BXP - Update wiki pages
500 BXP - Complete docs for project B

Scalable, measureable goals. Depending on what you complete depends on how much of the maximum bonus you get.

But there's more, oh yes!

What if you DO want to be management as well?
Well, simple - MULTI CLASSING (Or multiple skill branch requirements)
You start some levels in Manager and advance those instead, with similar progress requirements.

That's the plan, anyway - so if I ever start a company I'm going to be a Level 100 Epic President.

Then I can start working towards class titles ;)


Olympic Opening Ceremonies

eye, bladerunner
I've been pondering what the Olympic opening ceremony should be after madwitch posted about the opening ceremony.

Currently my best suggestion is that Brian Blessed, dressed as prince Vultan swoops down from a blimp wearing a wingsuit screaming "DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEE" snatches Excalibur from the hand of a glowing woman standing in a pond and zooms over to light the Olympic torch with it as it fzzzzt's a-la-lightsabre.

At that point everything should explode.

Any better suggestions?

More stuff up for grabs...

eye, bladerunner
High backed leather office chair, small rip in seat: £ Free.
(Can drop off in Cambridge area if needed)

King sized Argos wooden slat bed + Mattress; will require deconstruction and then reconstruction! £ 20
(Pick up by preference, but can probably deliver (Cambridge area), but then it's down to you to work out how to build it!)

When it's gotta go...

eye, bladerunner
As promised; the great frock coat sell off!

Attempt 2! Better pictures this time, thank you natural light.

Stuff for sale is here

Comment here if you're interested in anything.
I'll do measurements if you want to know any dimensions.
I'd recommend you 'try before you buy' to make sure they fit!
I also reserve the right to chicken out on individual items and decide I can't live without them after all!

Also up for grabs (collect or deliver in Cambridge area)
Microsoft Force Feedback Sidewinder 2 Joystick: £5
2 Battered old sony speakers: £Free
Goodmans combo CRT DVD/TV 17(?)" + Remote: £10
DAB Digital Radio: £5

First come-first served; I'm a bit reluctant to post things (as I want to make sure stuff fits!)
But I'm sure I can sort it out if you want

Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy

eye, bladerunner

What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?

View 601 Answers

A pair of parrots riding a moped.

You're not the only one

eye, bladerunner
So; My weekend had killer clowns, guns, chocolate cake, psychic experiences, control of the entire universe, armageddon, evolution of a new dominant life form, destruction of the bio-threat, hiring of minions, equation of characters, signing of declaration, observation of perfection, determination of finality, subtraction of evil, fifth person perspective, godzilla, high stakes, low rolls and far too much heat.

A pretty good time by all accounts; and it led to...

Poll #1422705 He's got cash. He's got money
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 31

On most given days do you spend some money (Cash or charge)

View Answers
23 (74.2%)
7 (22.6%)
By some freak of happenstance I have some other reply which I will explain
0 (0.0%)

Voices in my head

View Answers
I have held the world in my hand
0 (0.0%)
The voices talk to me
1 (3.7%)
Ack ack ack ack
3 (11.1%)
Bet on reality to win
2 (7.4%)
I give it thirty years
2 (7.4%)
I can talk back to them
3 (11.1%)
2 (7.4%)
Interlaced papercut
3 (11.1%)



eye, bladerunner
Dr. Penguin

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